Black and In Love

by Brittany Johnson (entertainment journalist, student, DC Native)

What is it like to be black and in love? That is the question that continues to be pondered everyday by people of all races. Being black and in love can be sweet like a bright peach from Georgia or sour like a rotten grape from a winery. As an African American woman finding a black male that will treat you the way you should be treated and finding someone who will love you like our elders love their partner is hard to find nowadays. The definition of being black and in love is one that is continuously written over and defined into new meanings everyday. The way blacks were in love in the 60’s and the way blacks love today is very different. Black love is something that one cannot define. Blacks “love” until the sun comes up and fight until they become so sick of arguing that they fall asleep. As Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching lets take a minute to reflect on the way our brothers and sisters should love today.

Being black alone is complicated even still today in 2011. We continue to fight off the typical stereotypes that people standardize us by and continue to fight to be accepted in our own social environment. Black men alone suffer so many stereotypes and unfortunately so many are true. We deal with men who are in and out of jail, not able to support their family, caught up on drugs, abuse their loved ones, and even leave their loved ones and children stranded. Because of these certain issues black love continues to be a more complicated situation everyday. Can we as African Americans really describe the way it is to be in love with a black man or woman? Can we tell other people from different races what its like to have a black man or woman love you, take care of you, show you the different things that no one else can? Can we tell people from other races how hard and difficult it is for every black couple to stay together, conquer things together, and to not be judged so quickly? If we could answer all of these questions and explain to others about these topics it would take days for someone to understand. However, black love is something special, exciting, and rejuvenating when it comes along.

But what is like for blacks to be single? Most of the time we just can never find the right person who will be happy and pleased with what we have to give them. As an African American we always want more whether it is dealing with love or with your occupation. We make love seem impossible nowadays that its hard to give up our “list” of things we want in a man and woman and just love.

Valentine’s day is right around the corner and my advice to all the lovers is to remind your man or woman on all the reasons of why they love you. People tend to forget that reminding your partner of the little things that made them fall in love with you is what is most important. You don’t need to give any fancy gifts or go on vacation to express your love. Just show that one special person that you love them for a reason and remind them why.

For all the single blacks in this world take the time to sit back and reflect on what you want and don’t want in a man or woman. Think about the mistakes you have made in your past relationships and try to work on NOT bringing those mistakes back in your future relationship. Being single is the time to think about the things that you like and don’t like in relationships and to find how to love yourself as a human being. Like they always say you can’t love someone else until you learn how to love yourself.


  1. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Edge Magazine, LLC and Brittany Alexandra J, Brittany Alexandra J. Brittany Alexandra J said: check out my article on what it's like to be black and in love [...]

  2. I love this article. So true, you can’t love someone else until you learn how to love yourself. Well writtenn!!!

    Posted by Karina on 10 February 11 at 9:45am