Can Boys & Girls JUST be friends?
It’s easy to answer yes or no to posed questions. Are you okay? Are you hungry? Will Ashanti ever braid her sideburns? You can easily state ‘yes’, ‘yes’ and ‘no’ to those three questions. But it would never be good enough. Yes and no are too easy.
So with that said, can guys and girls be friends?
Now, every rule has exceptions. An ugly woman can be friends with way more guys than an attractive woman can. Mainly since, well, she’s not cute.
Not being rude but…well, yea, I have to be rude to prove this point. Ugly women have more successful opposite sex friendships, followed by lesbians and virgins.
And it’s for simple reasons. Ugly women are bad notches on a guy’s belt, lesbians don’t enjoy penis and virgins are scared of penises. So hanging out with these particular women make it easier for a guy’s second head not to interfere with his first, which we all know is usually when things can get a little hazy for a fella looking for release.
No guy has ever introduced himself to a female with the intent of becoming her friend. That midnight confidant she turns to as she struggles with the mental and physical hurdles of being a woman. That is only a means of staying in a woman’s life long enough for her to call you when she’s crying, for you to provide a shoulder and by the end of the evening you are soothing her sorrows with strokes while Janet’s ‘Would You Mind’ plays in the background.
You should have seen the sign-in sheet in my sophomore year dorm at Hampton University. Every chick who signed in was bad as hell. But for the most part, all of them were friends of mine. When dormmates would ask me why they were just friends and not a lineup of butt naked wrestlers, I’d simply say, ‘I got at her, it didn’t go down, so now we’re friends.
I wanted most of these girls to fulfill the role of my future ex-wife but they weren’t having it. So I went the friend route, hoping that one day down the line, they’d realize my greatness was just something they couldn’t pass up and we’d eventually engage in the butt naked wrestling that my male friends were rooting for from the beginning.
Now mind you, I have friendships with some beautiful, intelligent, funny, amazing women that I wouldn’t trade for the world. These friendships in a lot of ways stabilize me, keep me grounded and focused. I blame it on me growing up with two sisters and being close to my mom, I have a way of building bonds with women.
But that in no way means that I chose for it to be this way. My current best female friend had to be asked, ‘So there is no chance of us ever being together?’ before I could accept the friendship. At this point, I recognize we would have been terrible together anyway, but still. The friendship was never the intent because I was physically attracted to her.
A good friend of mine, Andrea, who is quite frankly one of the most wife material women I know, says this: “Guys will almost always cross boundaries if allowed. Women, whether they realize it or not, set the expectations.”
So so true.
If a woman looks good, and wants to be my friend, then it is up to me to be that friend – until her raggedy ass boyfriend screws up and she realizes just how great I am.
See, God made Adam and Eve. He made them to be one with one another, in all their naked glory. He didn’t say to Adam, ‘Let me get one of your ribs so I can make you a friend.’ He said, ‘I got this new creation you are really going to enjoy.’ In other words, even God knew that men and women should be physical tandems first and foremost, and friends secondary.
Hell, who were really the first male and female “friends” anyway? I think Jesus might have been the first person to have a female friend and that was only cause of the whole Son of God thing. I know the 100-percent of him that was man was in a constant battle with his Godliness with all these partially clothed women walking by prepared to bow at his feet.
Now, I’m worried about my Christianity when I’m putting my Lord and Savior in this light but it speaks on this subject at the highest level.
Men and women were not meant to be friends.