Day Late and $1 Short: Next Lifetime
*Lights a cornucopia of incense*
This week we will be discussing Ms. Badu’s “Next Lifetime” track. Usher’s “U Make Me Wanna” often comes to mind, as they both touch on contemplating on being with another person while you’re in a relationship. I’m pretty sure this track will hit home for a lot of my readers but I hope I don’t break up any happy homes with this post. Erykah makes you really think about that closer-than-most friendship that exist or the one that might be extinct. That friendship that had/has you THINKING about taking it to the next level. Being involved with someone on a serious level is an excellent thing, but it also can be damaging to have that ONE (or two for the triflin’) person that you would unequivocally be with IF you were currently not involved with someone. It might be that person that you overlooked a few years back because “you were young…didn’t know what you wanted” Often coined has “the one that got away” Mr. Right…and you were with Mr. Right Now. Maybe it’s that person that you simply met at the wrong time (YEAAAH that one). Either way, they person is posted up in your heart and mind with a lawn chair…. sipping raspberry lemonade.
How did this person get there? The question you might have examined umpteen times and hell you don’t know the answer. Badu acknowledged her “intruder”, accepted her “intruder”, and CHECKED her “intruder”. I have always stressed, there is nothing wrong with making friends right? Right. Maybe you intended on creating a friendship, but were not aware of how dope this person is or how dope they can actually be. Maybe this was a friendship that has been platonic for the longest and you have always thought highly of this person or they came out of no where (got you singing Deborah Cox and sh***) and completely stimulated your mind…which is the most important aspect because it’s not always physical, ladies.
Feels so damn good to me
It picks me up don’t wanna come down
You got me spinning all around”
You accepted your “intruder”. This person could be someone that you communicated with often or someone you chop it up with every once in a while. Possibly one of those friends you don’t have to speak with often but can pick up right where you left off, like it was nothing. Each time you communicate with this person, it’s ALWAYS a dope conversation whether it’s a quick exchange or a daylong text conversation. They are making you smile effortlessly and ALWAYS know the right things to say. So then you begin listening to ALL of their problems, giving each other daily reviews, good morning videos (yeah this person took it to the next level), and your favorite…listen to them express their frustrations with the opposite sex and constantly prescribing advice that is never followed, witnessing “Another Again” repeatedly. No harm since we aren’t physical or anything….right? This closer-than-most friendship is amazing. You begin to confide this person about YOUR current significant other. This person is continuing to be a friend and potential lover, but at the same time NOT trying to arbitrate your situation. It’s even gotten to the point where you can actually see your self with this person….here is where Badu checked the “intruder”. Something that you couldn’t do.
“You need to know
I’ve got that somebody
But it ain’t that type of party”
This is probably the most difficult part to overcome. You don’t want to be rude and end the “friendship”…so you are hesitant. But you realize what you are doing is wrong but neither party wants to stop. I mean…this is just a friendship right? Right. It’s human nature to care for someone and be there for them (you know…friend s***) but YOU have to be aware what direction a friendship is heading. Someone can only obtain what you give. If you start to feel overwhelmed, then maybe it’s a good idea to put a halt on things or possible end them. YOU know yourself better than anyone and if this person is getting too damn close, don’t forget about your relationship.
How destructive is it for you to be with someone and you have impure thoughts of being with someone else? Can you honestly convey your unconditional love to your significant other when your mind is elsewhere? Emotional cheating happens to women more than it does to the male species. Giving another person those same thoughts and emotions you give your s/o? What? Is the grass really greener on the other side or is it dye? On another note, all the signs are there. Why is this person making you feel like this and supposed to be in love? Is this the person you are TRULY meant to be with?! This person is obviously in your life and on your mind this much for a reason right? Those are key questions that need answers. Communication is essential, and we must never forget that we want to be our partner’s best friend. You HAVE to know where their mind is. Now I’m not saying DRILL that person on an aggravating level for their exact thoughts, but don’t neglect the principles of a FRIENDSHIP, which in essence, should be the foundation for your relationship. Be a good listener, iron his drawls, be empathic of their situation(s), and show that you are passionate about something etc. the list goes on. Also, take a look at ALL of the people that have been in your life. You know you have stumbled upon THEE one when you can honestly look back and say “Yeah… I’m pretty confident that I have the BEST one. Without a doubt.” The greatest form of discipline is patience and if practiced appropriately, you will not have to worry about seeing that person in the next lifetime….you might already be there.