Day Late and $1 Short- So I Creep
I was talking to @LaurenCowart last week and she was humbly bragging about a concert in NY last week. After she went on about being upset about NOT getting to harra…see a specific celebrity that was at the show, she mentioned that she was behind a dude who was stalking some chick on Facebook. After I immediately ordered my privacy screen for my iPhone, she suggested that I make a post describing how people are single…but not really. “Our minds are consumed” is what she said. Which is very true. BUT she doesn’t know if that girl he was Facebook stalking was a chick he was interested in or a real close friend whose page he just happen to be viewing. She assumed that it was old cakes that he was…stalking. Let’s roll with that one, since that seems to be the most rational thing from this situation. I’ll say this; I will NOT be on Facebook looking at a chick’s profile if I’m at an R&B concert surrounded by beautiful women. Let’s discuss.
Are we really single if we can’t move past looking at our old joint’s pictures/tweets/Facebook status? Really, how can you say you honestly moved on if you make it part of your hourly/daily/weekly/monthly routine to check up on them? Is that considered level 1 stalking? Stalking is stalking right? Right. Women are theeeee worst when it comes to this. So damn sneaky. You all have 3 of your friend’s passwords for all social networks just to check up on somebody. The guilty women, who are reading this right now, have that sneaky grin on their face RIGHT NOW. Men, take a more subtle approach as far as “stalking” old yams. Nine times out of 10, we are the ones who get removed from whatever social network. Here is where the breakdown comes for the WEAK men. YOU (the ladies) post that “Look What You Gon Be Missing” thirst trap pic. We don’t see the pic but we hear about it from a mutual friend. Convo goes like this.
Me: What up?
Homeboy: You seen Trish picture?!
Me: Nah, man I told you she removed me.
Homeboy: It’s crazy…I bout to send it to you.
Me: I mean you don’t have to.
Me: Damn…smh I know what she trying to do. Bruh………. I’m bout to delete this out my phone bruh.
*Deletes 4 days later and I’ll claim I deleted it on the spot*
That situation is NOT for the weak-minded. I’ve witnessed the “Look What You Gon Be Missing” picture rekindle a relationship…and fail again. It’s that real. Please ignore it fellas. Every woman reading this has probably posted the “Look What You Gon Be Missing” picture and grinning like a Cheshire cat right now. Chris Rock was right; women need food, water and compliments. Don’t you dare disagree with me. That is a FACT.
#Lettuce be real here. NOBODY wants to see an ex looking all good on their timeline/news feed. I have been fortunate enough to be removed by ALL of the women that I have been in a relationship with. Every. Single. Time. I’d rather come across the pictures/tweets/Facebook status from a mutual friend. I’m a coldblooded person when it comes to moving on but when it all comes down to it, I actually do care. That does not mean that I will creep on to their page and check on them but if I ran into a mutual friend that she was closer to, I’d ask about her with sincerity. So that’s my method of “creeping.” That doesn’t even count, cuh.
“But Toine, what’s wrong with checking up on a old FRIEND?” Nothing is wrong with “checking” up on a friend, I was simply describing the methods that are most common in this era. We all creep because it’s easy to gain access. What if that person wasn’t so available? Would you keep them in your feelings because their well-being is a mystery to you now? Would it be easier to get over them because they are not all over your timeline/news feed? How often do we claim we are sooooooo over the past, but steadily checking up on our exes and worried about what they are doing?
Are you really single? Or are you in a one-way relationship? Are you REALLY over someone if you still check for them, even if you are in a healthy relationship? These questions need answers. Now that I have exposed you ladies, I think I speak for all obstinate men when I say that you need to chill with the appropriate but scantly clad pictures. We are tired of explaining to our friends why it didn’t work out with you because “you are fine” EVERY time you post a revenge photo. And to all my friends who have sent them to me….I WILL retaliate.