Just A Friend: Emotional Cheating
written by Ronald Clark
In most cases, it isn’t malicious. It is usually a product of past relationships reappearing in a cluttered present that isn’t looking for any new company. It’s presence resonating as a roadblock to the union of the perpetrator and their companion. It’s a new phenomenon that’s just beginning to gain ground and become a topic gaining steadily growing amounts of attention.
This phenomenon is – emotional cheating.
No seriously, this is an actual thing. It is an actual thing that has altered the course of promising relationships. A new negative that insecure members of companionships can use to hang their low self-esteem hats on.
I’m someone who loathes cheating. I have my reasons, most of them quite personal, but nonetheless, my personal hatred towards the act of cheating has imbedded in me an inability to wrap my mind around the action. I have not, shall not and will not cheat on a woman. It is one of my truths. It is real.
But I am also a firm believer in relationships being an addition to one’s life and not something that should become one’s life. People who get into relationships with demands that their significant others stop communicating with certain individuals that were around way before they came along baffle me. What gives you the right to go down my list of relationships with an eraser? You knew what you were getting into before this got started, so don’t try to change it up now.
This is the moment where things get hazy. I’m one who loathes cheating. But I’m also one who feels that my friendships with certain women shouldn’t have to stop just because I’m now in a relationship. This, my friends, puts me in prime position to emotionally cheat.
To be quite frank, I’d probably be a culprit of emotional cheating. I have a laundry list of close female friends who are near and dear to me. And truthfully, a vast majority of them are attractive. Many of them I’m attracted to. Some of them I’ve got at myself. And a select few I even have pasts with on a level outside of friendship. But they all have a place in my life and all make up part of who I am. So my ridding myself of these relationships just because I have a girlfriend is not something I see myself doing.
A lot of why I am the way I am with women is due to my friendships with women. I’m often engaged in conversations with them as well as deeply involved in their day to day interactions with males, providing me with insight I can tap into during my own interactions with females. I wouldn’t be so in tune with the female psyche and the quirks that make them who they are if it wasn’t for my constant engagement with my female friends.
Is my continuous interaction with these women a bad thing for my relationship? Depends on whom you ask. I honestly see nothing wrong with it if my girl trusts me. Or better yet, wouldn’t a woman confident enough to know that I would be stupid to leave her due to everything she brings to the table not worry about a few friendships? Think about it. The mere thought that I’d emotionally cheat is the sign of a woman grasping for reasons to have an argument. If emotional cheating was something that truly deserved a negative reaction, I’d be considered a ‘dog’ on most fronts because I would more than likely be a repeat offender.
My female friends come to me for comfort. I’m the male friend they can come to with any and all problems and I’m always open to give advice or to just lend an ear. Will my consistent availability stop in a relationship? To a point, yes, but not completely. I mean, my true friends would let me have my relationship moments anyway, so that wouldn’t be a problem. Would I turn to a friend in a time of need if my girl isn’t available at the time? Good chance. Do I consider that to be emotionally cheating? Not really. I just see it as doing what I’ve always done.
And if my relationship is weak enough that such situations can erode its foundation, then that foundation was built in quicksand in the first place and needs to start over on new land.
*Not original Edge Photography