Man In The Mirror: Enitan Bereola II
Bereolaesque: be*re*ola*esque adj. Definition: highly appealing and pleasing to the human senses and/or mind; captivating; providing pleasure or delight, especially in appearance or manner; charming, alluring, attractive.
One of my favorite movies of all times is Lady Sings The Blues. Aside from Diana Ross’ amazing performance as Billie Holiday there was Billy Dee Williams as the awe inspiring Louis McKay. Sure, he is hands down one of the most handsome men to ever live but the character Williams created had something more important.
He embodied charm and class. He understood how a woman should be loved, courted and protected. He was dressed impeccably no matter the time of day or the occasion. Whenever I tried to catch a glimpse of a man who could stand the test of time I turned to this film because chivalry, I thought, was a dying art form. No one cared about manners and the “year of the gentleman” movement was overshadowed by infidelity and scandalous affairs. So as one would guess, I was utterly surprised (and somewhat skeptical) when I was first told about a man on Twitter, @bereolaesque, who gave tips on how to live sophisticatedly, honest and like a lady/gentleman. Like many of my peers I thought “who is this guy and what gives him the right?” but I soon found myself agreeing adamantly with his ideas, tips and experiences.
And if I hadn’t been a believer when I pulled up to his Oakland estate, it wouldn’t have taken long to convert me.
Enitan Bereola II embodies a subtle sexiness and an air of class that you just don’t see anymore. And it’s easy, too easy for him. The way he makes a woman feel special is like watching a prizefighter in the ring. Every move is efficient and leads straight into the places left unguarded by his opponent. When we walk into his home he invites us in to have a seat, promptly asked us if we needed anything and apologized for just being fresh out of the shower and not fully ready to entertain. But we were already two steps ahead of him.
Confidence coupled with a keen awareness of his power makes his company a pleasure to keep and puts any male reader of his book above and beyond their competition. Bereolaesque, the theory defined above as well as his lifestyle guide of the same title, lays out rules. Rules for life, love and business. But Bereola himself is the walking reminder that it all really exists. And although the lifestyle is new to all of us, Enitan insists that he’s always lived this way. “Being Bereolaesque…in reality it’s a law. There’s no such thing as perfection except God so I would say that I was always Bereolaesque. I may have had a lot more flaws than I do now but I was always a gentleman. I knew that it was rare.”
Rarity, indeed. Tailored jackets, perfectly fitted leather gloves, a toothpick hanging from his full lips and a smirk of seduction spread across his face, Bereola is an anomaly. His caressing voice and cool demeanor make his charm inviting. And the tone in which he presents the message behind his work is without the slightest touch of judgment on those he seeks to help. Impressively, Bereola admits that he himself once took advantage of the power he held as a man, especially with women. “I used to be girl crazy. I knew that chivalry wasn’t something that men had and women weren’t used to it. So I kinda used it to my advantage and broke hearts”, he explains. But today, though a work in progress, Bereola has used his power to start to reform the many men who he says are “thirsty” for a way to stand out. “We just came from a whole movement of thug life and yeah that was cool and it’s a trend and it’s stylish but people are being killed, lives have been damaged. I thought it was time to bring back that old classic person, that classic look”, he says.
On the surface, you can assume that Bereola is nothing more than a man looking to garner female admiration by “helping” his male counterparts. But he’s not one sided. Along with his lessons for young men are the lessons he feels women should take heed to as well. In their search for a Bereolaesque man, they must be willing to point out and accept the things in themselves in need of alteration. Enitan speaks candidly to his female fans through various social networks urging them often times to consider their worth and act accordingly. “All women are born beautiful they just have to acknowledge that themselves, it’s their choice”, he says. But although his stance is strong, Bereola never pretends to know all the answers. As many others have done, he has decided to use his voice to echo loudly what he has been taught taking little to no credit for the man he’s become. “I’m a collage of many great people”, Enitan explains, “God put something special in me and put a lot of people around me to develop it”.
Don’t be fooled; however, Enitan Bereola II is well aware of his appeal. Cocoa butter smooth, the man could sell another Bush presidency to a room of liberals. And he doesn’t disappoint when we turn the conversation towards matters of the opposite sex. I couldn’t help but wonder what a “Bereolaesque” relationship would offer a woman from the first date into the dating process. He cut no corners in his explanation and even came up with a rousing analogy for his ability as a lover. “If I’m taking a woman out on the first date it all depends on how I want her to see me but it definitely consists of a very, very memorable time. I guarantee, whether or not she decides to see me again, she will say she had one of the best times of her life, I bring the best of out of people when they’re with me so I GUARANTEE she’ll never forget it.” And though Bereola stresses, “you can’t expect a man to pay when you’re giving it all away for free”, he’s no dud in the imagery of lovemaking. Hoping to keep his explanation PG, he weaved a very interesting web using his ability as pianist to describe how to—ahem—please a woman.
“A musician can make love to any instrument he plays there’s something about a piano, a grand piano, shiny—there’s so much appeal to it, it’s rewarding to the eye. When you touch it, you activate it and you see that it’s not just the external beauty but there’s something internal there. Depending on how you touch it, that determines how it responds. I think that’s a pretty accurate representation of a woman”, he says.
Are you drooling yet? Seriously. There’s more.
“How would I play her? With a piano you can play lightly touch the keys and it’s soft and beautiful and then you can vigorously pound the keys and it’s sort of like the piano creates some kind of motion—a pulsating that you can feel.”
The Bereolaesque movement is NOT about being a man afraid to experience all of lives pleasures or a “nice guy” open to being ran over. Enitan points out that it is about finding your authentic edge while maintaining the etiquette and sophistication of a gentleman. “There’s nothing corny about being a gentleman. Men definitely have it misconstrued; it doesn’t have to be suspenders and bowties. Manners are sexy”. While his fighting to kill the stereotypical nerd view of a gentleman he is also busy quieting the whispers of naysayers who feel that Bereola is no “love doctor”. Some men, and women alike, feel that Enitan dropped from ‘cloud cupid’ armed with slingshots full of advice and many want to know what qualifies this young man to tell them how to live and love.
Without losing an ounce of his cool, Bereola quiets the doubters. “That’s easy”, he says with a chuckle, “My experiences, my keen observation and the fact I have men and women talking to me everyday, validating the things that I say and giving me immediate feedback. I have a large audience. I have something a lot of people don’t have. I see lives affected. I’ve saved several marriages. I’ve seen a direct response from what I’ve done. I know that it works. It would be one thing if I were doing this and nothing was coming from it but everyday I get confirmation.” The confirmation comes from the legions of fans spread across different social networks. Validation can be found in bookstores on every coast in which copies of Bereolaesque are flying off the shelves. Ask anyone plugged into a social network on the regular if they’ve heard of Bereolaesque and find his qualifications in their excitement.
Bereola has tapped into his purpose. Instead of taking a backseat to view the problems he has taken initiative to change them—one by one. In any moment you spend with him, it is clear that his relentlessness is deep rooted in the knowledge that his effect goes far beyond bragging rights. “The responsibility is to show the next person that we’re special, that we’re valuable, that we’re resilient and we’re not what’s being depicted on TV. I think it’s our responsibility to uphold that. We should be the ones in control of how we’re viewed and with so much history and so much sacrificed that occurred…. if we’re not acknowledging it and continuing to be a strong people then all of the struggle and hardship was in vain. Young, Black and doing exactly what I’m doing—it shows others that they can do it and that there’s hope and other options besides what they’re told they can do.”
Written By: Iman Milner
Photography: Ashley B. Nguyen
Click Here to get your own copy of Bereolaesque on Amazon.com
Follow Enitan Bereloa on Twitter @bereolaesque