The Blame Game: Who Murdered Chivalry?
I’m not sorry for agreeing with Dave Chappelle, since, well, he’s sort of a genius.
“Chivalry is dead…and women killed it.”
Yes yes, you killed it. Murdered it. Took its life only to have regrets later as you sat around in shackles with your initials carved in them.
It is 93.7% your fault. I can’t give you complete blame since it leaves me no wiggle room to talk myself out of it later. But honestly, the percentage is that high or higher and this is why.
The expectations regarding the behaviors of men are set by the woman. It is you and you alone that determine the actions of men and how we treat you. And due to this fact, when something changes in the dynamic between the two sexes, it is largely due to the actions of women.
Us men, we’re reactionary creatures. When something happens, we retaliate the way we see fit. When we come across a woman who demands respect, we either mouth off like childish, immature brats when she turns away our advances (I loathe that dude) or we approach her with the respect she presents herself to expect. When we come across women who present themselves in a manner that invites a lack of caring on our parts, well, we stop caring.
And therein lies the problem. Too many women have resorted to presenting themselves in manners that don’t elicit respect, so in turn, the natural reflexes of many men is to be disrespectful. Since so many women have surrendered their God-given rights to respect, the few that have not made that deal suffer the consequences of their fellow women’s actions.
I’m not saying this is right. It isn’t. But it is true. There was once a time when chivalrous behavior was not only expected but demanded of men. The opening of a door, the jacket over water, the paying of a check, the handy work around the house, was all part of being a man. As a man, this was expected of you from both women and your peers. If you were not doing this, you were the odd man out.
Sadly nowadays, you’re just part of the crowd.
A crowd filled with rap lyrics and films that disparage the image of how we once viewed women, distorting the beauty and perfection of God’s finest feat.
But in the background of these songs and movies are women engaging in the perpetuation of these thoughts. Further destroying the glimmer of hope women have of regaining their standing as the mothers of children, the givers of life, of beauty personified.
Us men are known for doing the bare minimum, just enough to get exactly what we want. In the words of Mr. Chappelle, ‘if men could have sex in a cardboard box, he wouldn’t buy a house.’ But because women love comfortable surroundings, you have brothas coughing up the cash to have presentable living arrangements for when that lady friend comes by.
The expectation is there. He expects her to look in his bathroom, to his kitchen, in his shower, to see how this man lives and how much he cares to impress her. She watches to see if he takes her coat and puts it up. She watches to see if he pulls out her chair before dinner begins. She watches to see if he pours her glass for her.
And he obliges, but simply out of expectation. Out of recognizing that she’s earned that respect, demands that respect and expects that respect.
But too often, that expectation isn’t there. She looks at him with an awkward expression, downgrading his gentleman qualities into flaws he never wished to attain. Maiming his manhood with a power only a woman can bestow.
Only she’s ruining it for the next woman to come along. The woman who enters the home expecting her coat to be taken only to be met with a hesitation on his part, a hesitation built from past failures at attempting to be the kind of man he thought women of today would want.
This man is confused. This man no longer operates in a reactionary society that breeds respect for women. The expectation is no longer there.
And its death was ruled a suicide.
By: Ronald Clark
(Not original Edge Photography used for post)