Words From A Broken Heart- Asia Esterak

written and experienced by: Asia Esterak (writer, alien cowboy)


I call it my blue period.
Ruled by agony and low wit. Devastating pain and faulty wiring. I tinker on the edge, dance on this thin line waiting for the next prick of pressure or sharp malignant pang against my teeth.
I call it my burden period.
Ruled by embarrassment and snickering voices. Those tantalizing smiles and double meanings, they fill me with emptiness and degrading thoughts.
I call it my ugly period.
Ruled by deceptive drink and past perfect pleasantries.
I am ruled by memory of him, of we, of us.
Warm fingers and long torso’s, green eyes and soft hair, how they haunt me, how they whisper to me like demons.
They come in the forms of his stubble against my cheek, his gaze upon me. I cannot live in these scary lullabies and these thoughts.
I simply cannot be.


You’re a vapor of light darting across the invisible atmosphere only trained eyes can see.
You’re the magician’s trick that memorizes his audience. That particle of thought that launches thee uncontrollable obsession in the massive fanatic minds.
Dance to a million drums that play your theme and collapse on the slippery pavement.
I could think nasty dark thoughts of your love and wish her away to a world with no exit.
I could choke her from your memory, bury her sound and face on some unmarked thought.
She could be nothing to you and I all you ever wanted, all you ever craved and yearned for but couldn’t have.

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